Please help me go to the Halloween party!

Halloween parties are looming large on the horizon and I have no costumes. At this stage, something homemade and inventive would be much preferable to a shop bought yoke.

I’m really of the opinion that Halloween is supposed to be scary or at the very least inventive so all those ladies who take the opportunity to wear as little as possible or the most outrageously sexy thing they can get away with and call it a ‘costume’ are really missing the point of Halloween, in my opinion.

I have a few ideas or have heard ideas from people, but it’d be nice to get a few home made costume ideas together here.

• Schoolgirl - could it be any simpler? A grey skirt, a shirt and tie, knee socks and I’m done. Pretty dull and boring but it went down well the last time I wore it and it’s easy to do if all else fails.
• Surgeon – a friend works in a hospital and reckons she could easily get me a set of scrubs and shoe covers and a surgeons cap to wear. Lash on some make-up and jewellery and hey presto – I’m a glamorous doctor from Grey’s Anatomy. Or Private Practice. Or whatever
• Dracula/vampire - there is a Dracula costume in the house somewhere (though it’s not mine) and I wore it a similar one two Halloweens ago to two parties. That said, I did great scary make-up and felt I was doing the whole Halloween bit properly

• Shopping bag – bear with me here…I could make a dress out of a giant Lidl or Aldi shopping bag with the handles as straps (with a bit of adjustment). Even I might be too tall for this one though but it might be a good idea for kid. Or someone really, really short.
  

  Something like this but preferably with clothes underneath!

• Balloon Boy – they’re selling the costumes online already but I’m pretty sure I could get my hands on a cardboard box, a plastic carrier bag and a silver balloon?

• Bunch of Grapes – wear regular clothes. Get lots of green or purple balloons, blow up and pin to my clothes and go as a bunch of grapes. Once everyone has had their fun bursting my costume, I’ll have my regular outfit underneath

• Burlesque – I have a corset and satin skirt I could wear but then again I’m hoping to go to the Burlesque Ball at the end of the month so I don’t want to wear my Halloween costume to that!
• 80s style from an 80′s themed night earlier in the year, I have the illuminous pink ra-ra skirt, illuminous socks, leggings to go underneath the skirt, a black oversized t-shirt, illuminous jewellery, back comb my hair to all hell in a side pony and wear a cross over pink handbag. Ta da!

Mine’s a damn sight less attractive than that but more authentic looking

So – what are you dressing up as? Lots of cool ideas on this website Coolest Homemade Costumes.

I’ll leave you with my favourite fancy dress joke-an oldie but a goodie:

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn’t know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

—
Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
—

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

—
Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
—

The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

—
Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.